I’m a busy guy and I’ve never tried to deny that. When I couple that with my inability to manage my time consistently, I end up losing a lot of sleep throughout the week, I understand that. There are lots of times I wake up in the morning and immediately regret staying up so late, and plenty of times where I go to bed dreading the fact that I’ll regret having stayed up so late that next morning. But everyone does that, right? It’s just part of life isn’t it? We just have to deal and keep pushing forward, right? Wrong.

It hit me a couple of hours ago when I woke up from a 6 hour nap: this is unhealthy. I shouldn’t be so tired that I can consistently take 6 hour naps nearly every week and still feel tired after the fact. That’s sleep I should be getting nightly (I usually only get 4 or 5) and though I can make it through for some time like that, that doesn’t excuse the fact that I’m not taking care of my body the way God intended me to, even if everyone else is doing the same thing. That’s why my eyes are always red, that’s why I’m not motivated to love people like I should all the time, that’s why I don’t undertake a lot of new tasks, that’s why I don’t save money like I should, that’s why I have suchΒ  a hard time being disciplined. It’s connected with so many other unhealthy habits that I have.

It reminds me of sin (well it probably IS sin, but still) so often, we just do things because it’s normal, and we don’t take the time to step back and see how God really intended things to work outside of our limited scope. Those shocking and sensational sins we always see in the media and on the news start with the tiny compromises we make every day. I think that all I’m really doing is crippling and deluding myself. God is really showing me that I’m gonna be a lot more effective when I can get some rest. I know that until I do, I’m never gonna know Him like I want to and I’m never going to live the life I truly want to live; the life He has designed me for. When I’m brutally honest with myself, this isn’t life more abundantly. I’m not gonna settle for it anymore.

The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. -John 10:10

One response to “Deluded.

  1. It’s funny to me how many of your posts are still so relevant to your life NOW. And not just your life, they hold wisdom for many people. Myself included, but I think it’s interesting that I seem to read the post that pertains to what’s going on with you, the same day that it comes up! Anyway; just an observation :)

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