Searching.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve felt as if I’ve been missing something. There’s always been a part of me that feels as if there’s a part of me missing. Like somewhere far away its gently calling me, and in those moments where the constant noise engulfing me finds its rest, I hear it and I’m drawn to it once again. I’ve been hearing it pretty frequently these last few days and it’s allure grows more and more profound as I grow older. There are some days where I can honestly see myself going for a walk and simply not coming back home, just wandering off until I find whatever it is I’m looking for.

I don’t know yet if it’s simply a childish whim that needs to be outgrown or if it’s something that will be deeply ingrained in me until I do it, but it’s nights like this that make me want to find out. I could discover the answer to a longing I’ve known for my entire life, or I could discover that I’ve played one too many video games… Why do I talk about it like that? Well, because somewhere inside of me, I want it to be something slightly similar to this:

Or this:

Yeah, I know that those obviously aren’t real, you don’t need to point it out. But I’m simply trying to decide, is the fact that I love games like that because I’m trying to fill that void inside of me, or do I have that void because of games like these? Maybe both? I don’t know yet, but sooner or later, something real has to be done, and either way it goes, it might cost me dearly. But then again, I might gain something even more incredible.

Anyone else ever have to ask themselves similar questions? What do you think?

Any thoughts?

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