Thinking about getting into a relationship? Wait. I’m sure you don’t have enough people telling you that.
Well, I guess that I should start by saying that this is only for Christians. If you don’t believe in God, or He’s the last thing on your mind, this advice simply doesn’t apply to you. You should pursue just about every relationship opportunity that you get, you never know when or where you’re gonna meet your future spouse and you’d be a fool to let them slip through your fingers. If you are a child of God though, don’t you waste your time so quickly.
God Himself picked a mate for you an eternity ago, you CAN’T miss them, overlook them, lose them, PERIOD! You probably know that, why is that so important?
- There is only ONE person that you will pour all of your energy and attention into and actually marry (assuming the marriage lasts for your lifetime.) While you can learn a lot from being in a bunch of relationships, it’s nothing that can’t be learned in one long one. All of the other people will essentially be a waste of time at best. At worst, they can be mountains of pain and sorrow that never completely heal.
- God chose your spouse for you, there’s no such thing as too late. Try it before the two of you have matured to an appropriate level and it might be too soon though. Just because a 3-year-old child will one day be an astounding running back in the NFL doesn’t mean that you should put him in the Chargers starting lineup tomorrow, it’ll kill him! Heck, the same thing may happen when he’s in high school! A bit of time can make a huge difference! If he or she is the one, then God will not let you lose them!
- There is a large possibility that you will marry someone who has been intimately acquainted with a number of other people. That means that several people will have had their lips and other body parts all over them (and in them!), had their bodily fluids on them (or in them!), and have all the scars of abuse, rape, broken promises, and everything else that can go wrong in relationships. Sounds nasty, right? I don’t say that to gross you out or to discourage you from marrying that person, I say that to ask if you are contributing any of these categories on another person’s spouse. Rush into a relationship too soon and you will. I guarantee it.
- Sometimes, we see that the person we were with in our last (or current) relationship was bad for us and we see the positive qualities they were lacking in someone else, so then we decide that this new person is good for us, so we chase after them without ever stopping to realize that they may not be great for us. And even when we’re aware of all the people who could be good and we wait instead for great, that doesn’t mean that God has ordained it. There ARE a handful of greats out there for you! I know it! Good or great doesn’t necessarily equal best though. God only shows us best when we spend significant time seeking Him about it, so wait. You want the best!
- Oh, and more importantly than that, that guy or girl is your brother or sister in Christ, not your potential boyfriend or girlfriend. When you look at every guy/ girl you meet as a potential mate, you rob them of some part of their humanity. Both guys and girls are very prone to objectifying each other and making relationships all about getting pleasure from the opposite sex (sexual desires and romanticism respectively.) When people you are just beginning to know become objects of desire before you fully understand their humanity, you have sinned. That’s your sister or brother you’re looking at lustfully and longingly, many times without them being aware. If you caught people thinking some of those thoughts about you, you might be sickened. Love them first as a whole person and a family member, that’s how real relationships are born, that’s how real intimacy forms. When you can get to know the positive and negative traits in a person and fully accept them without trying to make them more than they are, you make healthier, more well-informed decisions about them. Christ-centered decisions, wise decisions, decisions that bring joy and not harm. That’s the only way you can appreciate a person’s true and full beauty, don’t settle for less.
Honestly, the last couple of points were the ones that inspired this post. A few weeks ago (this post has sat in my draft box for a while now) I came to a head where I realized that there were literally 4 girls that I could legitimately see myself with (all at the same time), now I don’t fall for people easily and it takes a considerable amount of time for me drum up feelings about girls, so when this happened, I knew I was trippin. I’ve never liked more than one girl at a time and all of a sudden there were four, I knew that I had to wait, because in my eyes, the way that I felt was foolish and unacceptable, so I needed to wait for God to really make things clear, so I waited. His response? You guessed it, “Wait.”
That may be the wisest advice I’ve been given all year. I’m already starting to see all the ways that I would’ve paid serious consequences had I been hasty. I figured that I try to save you from some heartbreak too.
The teaching of the wise is a fountain of life,
that one may turn away from the snares of death. Proverbs 13:12