I offered to walk a girl out to her car after work last night and she declined, but when we were leaving I conveniently took our last piece of trash to the dumpster and kept walking with her. She immediately caught on to what I was doing, stopped walking and told me very harshly that she was a big girl and an independent woman; that this is 21st century America and she didn’t need anyone’s help. She then told me that she seriously would not move from the spot she was standing in until I left. Now my normal reaction to something like that happening is to politely (arrogantly) smile and insist that I wouldn’t mind the wait and assert my secret talent of being stubborn, but the thought never crossed my mind. Instead, I was hurt that she was hurt, you don’t see how she was hurt? Well, she lashed out at me. Someone once told me that it’s like trying to help a cornered, wounded animal (not saying that’s all she is) and having it attack you because it’s sure that you only mean to hurt it. It can’t be blamed though,
Because whoever was there before you obviously did, and she had trusted him.
I don’t know what may have happened in the past, and I don’t think it’s necessarily my job to find out, but for the first time I can remember, I didn’t stubbornly make the situation worse just to prove that I would get my way.
When she reacted like that, I tried my best to affirm that she could make it to her car safely and told her that it wasn’t about safety. Still visibly irritated, she said that if I wanted to do it as a friend, then she’d let me, but I shouldn’t get used to it. She then took off quickly walking slightly ahead of me. I gathered my thoughts for a moment and tried to sincerely explain that it wasn’t mostly about safety, it was about value.
I told her that even though diamond is the hardest substance on Earth (I just found out this morning that there are a couple new ones that are actually quite harder) we cherish it and protect it. It’s not that it needs protection because it’s weak or feeble, it’s just that we should never take it for granted because it’s so valuable. We should instead take every opportunity we can to treat it according to the value it has. That’s how I see people, especially women.
That’s all I could say before we had made it to her truck, she turned and quickly but earnestly *slap-pounded* me (is that what you call those handshakes?!) as she usually does and hopped in just as my brother came around the building in his car.
She had let me walk her out and I explained my motives a little, but I didn’t feel like I had won anything or succeeded at something. I was just burdened for her, even sort of depressed. I know she’ll be fine and that she’ll come around because I have yet to meet a girl who hasn’t, but I was still hurt that she was hurt. I thought about how women shouldn’t have to open their own doors, and how they should constantly be served and seated, how they shouldn’t have to reject unwanted male attention, and how they should have fathers and brothers and male friends to do that for them, they should never have to defend themselves from aggression (especially male aggression), and that they shouldn’t even have to carry heavy items. Men should honor them by bearing those responsibilities for them.
Now I know that this isn’t a perfect world and that all of those things happen, that there won’t always be a guy there for her, that they aren’t all necessarily bad things, and that women actually enjoy doing some of them, and that even in the worst case, it’ll only make her stronger (assuming she doesn’t die of course!). I guess the key is that they should know that they deserve to never have to. I’m sure that most women have no idea how valuable they are, that they were the last thing God created, the very crown of all creation, and how Christ made them joint-heirs with men, how only they can bring new life into the world, how men will recognize their value and pursue them (not the other way around), how their spiritual and emotional qualities are more deep and complex than men’s and how that naturally draws them closer to God than most men and makes them relate to His infinite complexities better too (He is emotionally relating to each of the 6 billion people on Earth every second whether they’re experiencing spirit lifting bliss or a soul wrenching pain or sorrow). If no one tells them and shows them these things, they’ll never know! It’s not about being strong or weak! I honestly believe that most women are stronger than most men! They bear so much more than us on a daily basis! Besides, I promise that you will never see Barack Obama (as President) open his own door (unless it’s for his wife!), not because he can’t, but because he shouldn’t have to concern himself with such a petty task. I think that now, more than ever chivalry is absolutely essential. And not only do our women need it, our men need it too. What do you think about it?