#47 Don’t Let Us Lose It


We are not who we should be.
Maybe we’ve grown up too fast:
Playing like we can prophesy lifetimes
Just to open our eyes and realize that we can’t see what we have right in front of us.
That these moments spent playing cops and robbers with gats
Won’t end glad
I don’t care how many times my middle schoolers may beat me at Gran Turismo
They can not drive my car.

Ability does not equal responsibility.

And maturity ain’t currency,

And there ain’t nothing wrong with waiting patiently
Don’t we all miss our childhood, anyway?

#12 To the Pentecostal church that had a 5 hour service last night:


Even though you’ve lied to me,
Twisted several scriptures,
Attempted to manipulate me,
Take my money, and
Shame me into believing your BS:

I think you sincerely care about those orphans
And God stirred me deeply as we worshipped

You aren’t all bad.
You can’t have me, but I’ll pray for you
I’m jacked-up too,
I hope we’re both better by the next time we’re together.

Coming of Age


I spent a good chunk of my day in Pasadena at the Rose Bowl setting up fence for tomorrow’s farmer’s market. I’m always intrigued at the number of people who are there taking jogs around the track. Whether I’m there at 4 in the morning getting an early start on a job, or finishing up around 1am, there are always people running (not, not a person, PEOPLE). Today around 4pm was no different, except that one guy stood out to me. He was tall, maybe 6’3″ or 6’4″, white, with short medium brown hair, cleanly shaved, and decently toned (he was shirtless). He was walking with some friends, all of them appearing college-aged, but he was different to me, he looked like a man, a grown man. The reason that’s so weird is because thought right after that was “He must be a college senior.” Okay, maybe that still wasn’t so weird to some of you, but if I had gone to school full-time since graduation, I would’ve graduated college last year and I still see myself as a kid.

What made him seem so manly to me while I see myself in an awkward young adult body not able to make the full step to manhood? A couple of months ago, a dear friend asked me what it would take for me to see myself as a man. It took me a couple of minutes to really draw my thoughts together, but my answer was that I’d have to take responsibility for the well-being of a group of people. I suppose that in my head, responsibility is what makes a man. I’m not sure how much, or even if it’ll really do the trick when I get there, but that’s what I feel right now.

What do you think it takes to make a man or woman?  Ooh, I wanted to start a poll and now I have a reason! Let your voice be heard!