Sorrow.


I’m sitting at the wall on the side of our front porch, facing the lake. My skin bathed by both warm sunlight and in cool wind as my eyes take in the mountainside and sparse clouds dotting the sky. 4 kids ran around in the yard below me chasing soap bubbles while laughing aloud! The leaves of 3 story tall palm trees dance in the same breeze making the bubbles swoop back and forth like dogfighting planes, and I feel almost perfectly at peace for a few minutes. I’m tired and it’s sort of cold, so I’m contemplating lying down for a nap, but something inside me won’t let me do it. Suddenly a wave of sorrow washes over me and I come to a harrowing realization: I’m afraid that I’ll never have a moment like this again. I’m somehow afraid that once this moment is over, I’ll never have another one. Like the rest of my life will be tinged with sorrow and struggle will be my constant companion. My lover. And that peace, joy, or anything remotely similar will be a long-lost friend. Rationally, I know better, but for that second that was reality. I’m working hard to try to see like this though:

Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal. -2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Standing Taller Still. (3/1/2011)


“It’s times like these that make me say, “Lord if you see me please come my way” My music plays as I make my way down the street from our house.

Today would be gorgeous if it weren’t so cloudy. Blue skies tease me with their endless possibilities from the very edges of the city’s skyline. Continue reading